The World Cup ?????????????

Well the world cup has been decided, and America basically yawned, except for the immigrants amongst us – legal and illegal. Why is this so? I believe it’s the game itself. Soccer, aka football, has never attained a status similar to the sports Americans love and adore. Here’s the problem in a nutshell- Soccer lacks the combination of pure power and grace. Yeah, it’s as simple as that.

Most of you are asking yourself – what the hell is he talking about, power and grace? I submit that all of the sports hallowed in America have this key ingredient. Let’s take a look.

American football stands out in this regard. From the crushing tackles to the deft touch of a pass thrown by a quarterback to a receiver surrounded by defenders, to the shear fearlessness of a running back going through a line of defenders all outweighing him by a minimum of 150 pounds, this key ingredient is present in every play, Power and Grace. And we love it, we love this game played on all it’s levels, from Pop Warner ball, High school football, College football , and the ultimate- Professional football. Power and Grace, every Saturday and Sunday on ESPN.

Let’s look at Baseball with it’s 80- 100 mile an hour fastballs, home runs smashed out of the park, shortstops cleanly picking white hot ground balls, making the throw to first base a split second ahead of the runner stepping on the bag, it’s all there- Power and grace. Let’s not forget the double play, a masterpiece in timing, yet we expect double plays to be turned routinely, and most of the time they are. How many times have we watched center fielders run down those impossible fly balls hit in the gap– and catch them, or the right fielder running to the wall and jumping up, glove above the wall and robbing a batter of a homerun, yeah, we love that kinda shit. Americans basically hate stealing, yet in Baseball the exception is made. If you can steal bases in the Major leagues, you’re a bonafide sports god. One of the most admired examples of thievery, the ultimate theft- stealing home plate, Power and Grace.

Basketball in spite of the thug-assed millionaires that play it these days, is still another example of Power and Grace. The shear stamina it takes to run up and down the court easily equals and exceeds all the running around you see on a soccer field. The passes made with the flick of a wrist, you know the ones where the spectators are fooled along with the defender- Grace, and if you have played the game on any level you know that there is Power hidden in such a seemingly subtle action. Slam dunks, Alley Oops, Tomahawk dunks, Three pointers, fast breaks that seem choreographed, defending down in the paint, elbows, charges taken that result in a player being hurled backward on his ass- Power and Grace. Speaking of Power and Grace, Muhammad Ali was the most recognizable man in the world until Michael Jordan came along- Yes, Mr. Power and Grace.

Let’s examine Hockey, you know the game where grown men skate around on ice hitting a little black disc. It ranks behind the rest of our sports but it has a following in the Northern States and Canada that is as faithful as Green bay packers fans- yeah, it’s that serious. Hockey is football, baseball, and basketball and ice skating all rolled into one- with a touch of boxing thrown in for flavor. Where else can you see someone skate like a figure skater one second and check an opponent into the wall resulting in blood on the ice. You have these heavily padded grown men skating at breakneck speeds and turning on a friggin’ dime, slapping weirdly angled shot into the net, passing the puck with delicacy- yeah, Power and Grace on the ice.

Are you starting to understand what soccer lacks? I will say that at times soccer is graceful, and the players are very fit and athletic- but the consistent combination of power and grace is missing.

Soccer also suffers from image issues. Soccer does not attract the best athletes during those crucial years of athletic development- childhood. Most kids that play soccer are there because they don’t play the other sports well- watching these kids play in one spastic exhibition after another is an ordeal- unless you are the parent of one of the kids. This issue is slowly changing and perhaps soccer in America will one day attract kids of all athletic skill levels, much like golf has been doing.

Soccer comes off as being the game of repressed peoples, dictators, despots, socialists, communists, and punk-ass Frenchmen. Think about it, given the choice of receiving free tickets to the Super bowl in a sky booth, or free tickets to the World cup finals all expenses paid, most American will take the Super bowl tickets. I know I would, and I’ve been known to watch a soccer game or two. Gottta have Power and Grace.

Later’